How many gym memberships does one person need?

I remember the days when I had a gym membership. At one gym. A typical workout would include the elliptical or treadmill, perhaps a class. I remember when my gym started charging extra for these classes, which was annoying, but I paid up anyway. I am pretty sure the monthly dues were less than $100. That seems like a long, long time ago.

Currently, I am straddling 3 different “fitness studio” memberships. That’s the correct term, I believe. They are certainly not gyms, no way, I think that’s probably an insult. And they are rampant, popping up all over the place. I can count 10 that have opened in the past 2 years, in Queen Anne and Ballard alone. It reminds me a little of the 90’s bagel craze, but way less carbs. Read More

Surrender

Over the course of the past few weeks, I have gone through some personal catharsis. It’s been kind of intense and it involves getting to a new and different place with my divorce. I don’t talk about the details of my divorce on the blog, because that’s no fun for anyone and it is frankly no one’s business.

I have been on my own for 2.5 years and it has been an arduous process rebuilding my life and working on myself. With time and a shit ton of therapy, I am in a really good place. I am happy. Happy in my new house, happy with Oliver, happy in my own skin. And there’s no guy or anything that helped get me here, it’s just me (I love that part!). I don’t think it is a coincidence that as I am here, in this space, I am also ready to let go of the anger that has lingered these past few years post split. What’s so funny is I never realized how good it would feel. How crazy is that? By surrendering to forgiveness, which I thought insurmountable at one time, I feel this massive weight has lifted. Seriously, it feels amazing.

This has not been an overnight transformation from angry Lynne to happy Lynne, by any means. It has been an evolution of healing and processing which has lead me to a place that I am finally ready to accept and forgive. As much as I needed to hold on to my anger for that time, to really feel it and be in it, I don’t need it anymore. I am ready to move on. And now I can see how much energy I was spending holding on to it so tightly. Energy that I can now put into something much more gratifying, like just living and enjoying not having any major conflict in my life for the first time in for-fucking-ever!

Does that mean I will never have angry feelings again about how challenging divorce and co-parenting with your ex can be? Duh, no. But I am going to take a minute and appreciate where I am today and hope that it will help me through the challenges going forward in a different way.

This post has been a draft for 2 weeks. Today in my amazing Corepower Yoga class, the instructor read this quote during shavasana:

Listen to this truth: We are each in our present circumstances for a reason. There is a lesson, a valuable lesson, that must be learned before we can move forward.

Something important is being worked out in us, and in those around us. We may not be able to identify it today, but we can know that it is important. We can know it is good.

Overcome not by force, overcome by surrender. The battle is fought, and won, inside ourselves. We must go through it until we learn, until we accept, until we become grateful, until we are set free.

…and I realized that I needed to finish the post as I have been set free. In the words of Dina Manzo, Namaste Bitches.

5 lbs

I don’t think there is ever a time that I’m not trying to lose 5lbs. I have my goal weight, I have the dream weight that I will never, ever again achieve, I have the acceptable weight which is above the goal weight, but within range. And then I have my current weight. I weigh myself way more than I should (naked, twice a day). If this sounds crazy, let me assure you, no eating disorder here. I love food. Like borderline obsessed. What am I going to cook for dinner? Which restaurant am I going to try? What do I need to buy at the grocery store? What appetizer am I going to bring to this weekend’s 4th of July trip? It’s like a constant struggle between what I want to eat and what I want to weigh. NOTE – I am 100% aware that I am putting my vanity out there. Judge away, but I am simply being honest about how I feel about my own weight and putting my clothes on in the morning.

I also work out. A lot. Like 5 days a week. I still do pilates and barre at Inspire. I recently reintroduced running into the mix after a 3 year hiatus. I am incorporating an awesome new yoga sculpt class at Corepower Yoga (give this place a try, tons of locations, gorgeous studio, free one week unlimited classes for new students!). I genuinely love these workouts, I feel super strong and know I’m in good shape. But I still have these extra 5lbs.

Sometimes I try counting calories. My Fitness Pal is an awesome app that helps you track food and exercise, plus gives you a goal for calorie intake for the day. My calorie goal is 1200/day if I want to lose the 5 in a month. 1200 calories feels like I am starving myself. Literally. This is the rub. I know what I need to do, I just have no desire to do it.

I want to eat what I want to eat, within reason. I do really like to eat healthy when I can so I can splurge when I want to. For example, Oliver and I had burgers, fries and a shake for dinner last night. This was the splurgiest dinner imagineable, but so delish. I want to be able to eat a dinner like that once in awhile. I also eat plenty of dinners that consist of a piece of fish and some veggies. But to do that all the time? Bo-ring.

The other thing is I’m really happy. I’ve fully nested in my new house, I’m obsessed with cooking in my kitchen and entertaining, which leads to wine, lots of wine. I lost about 10lbs a few years back, it was this fantastic new diet, the divorce diet, I guarantee you’ll lose. I don’t wish that one on anyone. I was miserable and at my skinniest since like high school. Gradually over the course of the past 2 years, the lbs have come back. Admittedly, I am in way better shape than I was then, but let’s be honest, it’s not all muscle.

The moral of the story is I love food more than I hate the 5lbs. I am happy being happy, even if it comes with a little extra layer. I am still going to exercise and try to eat healthy for the most part, but enjoy the triple cream brie and Rosé.

Mother’s Day for 2

Mother’s Day is a little different when you are waking up with your 4 year old whom you have to keep reminding it’s Mother’s Day. When I was putting Oliver to bed on Saturday night, “Oliver, tomorrow is Mother’s Day, so when you come wake me up in the morning, say Happy Mother’s Day Mama!” And Oliver’s response “It is Mother’s Day too much.” Really honey? I’m pretty sure every day is Oliver day, but ok. I think he said that because when I dropped him off at school on Friday, his teacher had Oliver give me my MD present, which was like, the best thing ever.

Oliver's MD Note

On the actual morning, I ended up doing pretty well. Oliver slept in an hour. He let me choose which Transformers movie we watched. And he got in the stroller so we could take a walk around our beautiful neighborhood. He was awesome and we had the best day. We finished it off with dinner to celebrate the other main mom in our lives, Mum (my mom).

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Mum and Oliver do so many projects together, she loves to play with him and read him stories. They garden together. They are such pals and I am so lucky to have a mom who genuinely relishes her grandson. As a mom, she is also pretty amazing. She gives me so much love and support. We laugh. We talk about (mostly) everything. I don’t know what I would do without her. She is so devoted to us and we love her more than anything!

I loved how happy and content I was spending the day just me and my most special guy. I know at one point, I felt sad about how Mother’s Day had changed for me, but now, my little family of just Oliver and I is just perfect.

Hope all of you had a lovely day celebrating and being celebrated!

Oh, PS, we made the Jaime Oliver Everyday Green Chopped Salad for dinner last night. My mom said it might be the best salad she’s ever eaten. I can’t help you if you don’t listen to me.