I don’t think there is ever a time that I’m not trying to lose 5lbs. I have my goal weight, I have the dream weight that I will never, ever again achieve, I have the acceptable weight which is above the goal weight, but within range. And then I have my current weight. I weigh myself way more than I should (naked, twice a day). If this sounds crazy, let me assure you, no eating disorder here. I love food. Like borderline obsessed. What am I going to cook for dinner? Which restaurant am I going to try? What do I need to buy at the grocery store? What appetizer am I going to bring to this weekend’s 4th of July trip? It’s like a constant struggle between what I want to eat and what I want to weigh. NOTE – I am 100% aware that I am putting my vanity out there. Judge away, but I am simply being honest about how I feel about my own weight and putting my clothes on in the morning.
I also work out. A lot. Like 5 days a week. I still do pilates and barre at Inspire. I recently reintroduced running into the mix after a 3 year hiatus. I am incorporating an awesome new yoga sculpt class at Corepower Yoga (give this place a try, tons of locations, gorgeous studio, free one week unlimited classes for new students!). I genuinely love these workouts, I feel super strong and know I’m in good shape. But I still have these extra 5lbs.
Sometimes I try counting calories. My Fitness Pal is an awesome app that helps you track food and exercise, plus gives you a goal for calorie intake for the day. My calorie goal is 1200/day if I want to lose the 5 in a month. 1200 calories feels like I am starving myself. Literally. This is the rub. I know what I need to do, I just have no desire to do it.
I want to eat what I want to eat, within reason. I do really like to eat healthy when I can so I can splurge when I want to. For example, Oliver and I had burgers, fries and a shake for dinner last night. This was the splurgiest dinner imagineable, but so delish. I want to be able to eat a dinner like that once in awhile. I also eat plenty of dinners that consist of a piece of fish and some veggies. But to do that all the time? Bo-ring.
The other thing is I’m really happy. I’ve fully nested in my new house, I’m obsessed with cooking in my kitchen and entertaining, which leads to wine, lots of wine. I lost about 10lbs a few years back, it was this fantastic new diet, the divorce diet, I guarantee you’ll lose. I don’t wish that one on anyone. I was miserable and at my skinniest since like high school. Gradually over the course of the past 2 years, the lbs have come back. Admittedly, I am in way better shape than I was then, but let’s be honest, it’s not all muscle.
The moral of the story is I love food more than I hate the 5lbs. I am happy being happy, even if it comes with a little extra layer. I am still going to exercise and try to eat healthy for the most part, but enjoy the triple cream brie and Rosé.